ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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