I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
