I want to make a zoo with you.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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