Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
True strength comes from lack of pants
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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