how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
send nudes
from the living room?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
