you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
