I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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