6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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