He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
