I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
