She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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