god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize