Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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