How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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