Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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