I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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