Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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