Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
