Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
