I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
