I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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