I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
