have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
