How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
