I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
