There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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