420 ftw
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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