Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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