We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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