I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
