Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
