Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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