Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you š
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
At least Iām an āessential employeeā and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesnāt ask why Iām essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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