Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Help. Why am I so naked?
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