ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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