Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just had sex bonerless
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize