Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
