i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
