he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
