...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
