I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
