look no pants
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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