is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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