okay pat passed out under dana's car
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Your shirt... Was in my pants
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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