I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
