And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Randomize
