sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You dont lie about slip and slides
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
