So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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