Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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