whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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