ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
