dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
