my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
