Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
