You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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