Already got asked if we're dating
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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